


Goodbyes Are the Hardest

by ErBearG32



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin - Freeform, Bellamy and Clarke are not on good terms either, Child Death, Clarke Griffin & Madi - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Heavy Angst, John Murphy & Bellamy Blake - Freeform, John Murphy & Clarke Griffin - Freeform, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, no suicide attempt this time, not written in Clarke's favor here, set during season 5 but with changes, slight season 5 AU, to put it mildly she pissed me off in season 5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-09-27 17:02:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17165843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErBearG32/pseuds/ErBearG32
Summary: Sequel to: What They Don't Know - Relationships between Spacekru and Clarke shift drastically - and not for the better - when Spacekru make it back down to Earth. What happens when Clarke takes her "overprotective mom" persona one step too far and it results in destroying her relationships with them? Forgiveness isn't always an option this time, especially when there is no fixing the damage done to them and Murphy has to face losing what's most important to him all over again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to What They Don't Know, which I originally posted at the beginning of the year, before season 5 aired. The original 3-parter was posted as a "what if" for season 5, but now that we are on hiatus and waiting for season 6 to air, I have decided to take that story one step further. Because you all know I can't write happy endings for these characters, lol. Everything from What They Don't Know has still happened, but I'm also trying to keep a lot of what happened in season 5 canon present in this sequel as well: Clarke is still a mom to Madi, Spacekru took 6 years to come down to Earth, Eligious still exists, Octavia is still Blodreina, Bellamy and Echo are still together, you get the idea. However, due to my previous stories' canon events, things have to change as well, which you will see as you read.

"You can't be serious! You can't seriously think that I'm just going to sit here and watch him die when I have the power to try and help save him!" Bellamy raised his voice and glared harshly at Clarke across the table. He never thought he would ever be as angry as he was with Clarke Griffin as he was right now, but here they where; except this wasn't the Clarke Griffin from 6 years ago. He opened his mouth to continue, but Clarke interrupted him just as harshly.

"You know what's happened to your sister, Bellamy; you know what she's capable of right now!" Clarke snapped, folding her arms across her chest stubbornly,  
"If you take that risk to try and have Madi talk to Octavia, or worse, help us steal some medicine that might not even work...all of us will be put in the pit. Madi included. We have no choice-"

"No choice?" Bellamy's voice was laced with disgusted as he repeated the words,  
"This is John and Emori's SON we're talking about here, Clarke!" Bellamy slammed his hands down on the table and looked Clarke dead in the eyes,  
"He's probably dying over there-"

"I know, and I'm sorry, Bellamy; I really am," Clarke interrupted again with a shake of her head,  
"But I'm not going to help you, and neither is Madi; I forbid it." She paused briefly,  
"I'm not going to sacrifice Madi's safety for somebody else's child, Bellamy...especially Murphy's child. I'm sorry, but I won't take that risk-"

"Says the person who was going to put Emori in the radiation chamber to test Nightblood on her without her or John's consent," Bellamy snapped back, walking around the table to stand directly in front of his former best friend,  
"You where more then willing to hurt both of them 6 years ago, and now when they need help more then ever, you're willing to hurt them again? You're willing to take their child from them this time? Clarke, you owe them-"

"Shut up," Clarke hissed, narrowing her eyes at Bellamy.

"You have no idea what either of them have been through in the last 6 years - what John has been through. Their only child might not live to see tomorrow without this medicine, and you're willing to just let him die...all because you're scared all of us will be thrown into that Gladiator Pit? Octavia would not do that to Madi-"

"Yes, she would!" Clarke took a step closer to Bellamy until they where nose to nose,  
"She put Kane in the pit for stealing, Bellamy; she'll do the same with Madi!"

"Did she actually say that, though?"

"No, but she's a dictator now; she's a monster! That's not your sister. She's capable of anything, including putting my child into the pit!"

"They're no longer trapped inside this bunker, Clarke; they're free now," Bellamy argued,  
"They're no longer living day by day thinking each day that they're gonna die; Octavia isn't the same person as she was, but she would not hurt Madi. All we're asking is to at least try and ask for her help," At Clarke's stubborn silence, Bellamy narrowed his eyes at her again,  
"So you're unwilling to risk something happening to Madi - which nothing will - but you're willing to let John and Emori's child die instead, which is guaranteed?" He paused,  
"Now who's the monster?" Bellamy couldn't stop himself from spitting those words out, but before he could say anything else, he felt his head snap to the side as Clarke's hand hit his cheek. Hard.

A long, tense silence filled the air and it took everything in Bellamy to remain calm and not lose his temper. Finally, he raised his head and looked over at Clarke, but not without glaring angrily at her. Before he could say anything, Clarke stabbed her finger into his chest and hissed at him,  
"The answer is no and that's final. Madi and I will have no part of this." Whirling on her heel to storm out the door, Clarke stopped in her tracks as she saw Madi standing in the doorway. An unmistakable look of sheer disappointment was written all over her face as she stared at Clarke.

"C'mon, Madi, let's go; we're getting out of here," Clarke was just reaching for the young girl's arm when Madi pulled out her attempted grasp and hurried over to Bellamy.

"Bellamy, you have to come quick," Her voice was filled with urgency.

"What is it?" Bellamy's heart raced as he feared what the girl was going to say.

"Murphy and Emori...it's not looking good for Alex," Madi whispered, shooting an accusing look over at Clarke as she spoke,  
"He's getting worse..."

"Oh my God..." The color drained from Bellamy's face and with a jerky nod, he raced towards the door, pushing Clarke aside as he did so.

"Madi-"

"Why would you deny them help, Clarke? I could have talked to Octavia and gotten them medicine for their baby; I could help save him!" Madi shook her head,  
"I thought you where different then this." She paused, looking down at her feet and then back up at Clarke, accusations in her eyes,  
"I thought you where selfless; I thought you cared...but I guess that's no longer true, is it?"

"We are not having this discussion, Madi; we're leaving now-"

"No, I'm not," Madi interrupted,  
"You can go. I'm staying." Without waiting for a response, Madi turned back around and hurried to catch up with Bellamy, hoping that they weren't too late.

*****

Bellamy pushed open the tent flap and the first thing he saw as he entered was Echo's worried gaze; Monty and Harper where standing right behind her, both of them looking at the corner of the tent, fear on both of their faces. Echo shook her head silently and Bellamy looked to his left and saw Emori sitting on their cot, holding baby Alex close to her chest, while Murphy sat beside his wife and son, one arm wrapped around Emori's shoulders and the other stroking his son's head. Raven stood beside the cot their friends where seated on, her hand rubbing Murphy's back softly. Sensing that his best friend had just entered, Murphy lifted his head and Bellamy's heart broke in two at the tears streaking his face.

"What did Clarke say, Bellamy?" Harper whispered softly, clutching Monty's hand tightly.

Bellamy closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. When he opened them again and looked up to meet Murphy and Emori's eyes, the looks on both of their faces made Bellamy almost start sobbing outloud. He walked over to the cot and knelt down in front of the married couple, resting both hands on each of their knees,  
"How's the little guy doing?"

Shaking her head as the tears streamed from her dark eyes, Emori clutched her son tighter to her chest just as John tightened his arm around her shoulders,  
"It won't be long..." She choked out, looking beside her at John's pained face.

"I'll get the medicine myself; even if I have to steal it-"

"Bellamy, don't," Emori interrupted softly, her heartache intensifying; she knew that if the medicine had come sooner, they might be able to help Alex, but now?

"It's almost over, Bellamy..." Murphy whispered brokenly, moving his left arm from where it had been stroking Alex's head to lay it on top of his friend's,  
"It's too late..." His voice choked on a harsh sob and he felt Bellamy squeeze his hand tightly in response; he knew there was nothing else to say. What more was there to say? Clarke refused to even lend a hand; she refused to help...because it was him and Emori that needed it. She never considered him her people - not 6 years ago, and not now. He should have known that the day she was ready to put Emori in the radiation chamber to test Nightblood on her; what made him think that she would suddenly help him now, when she had Madi to look after?

The sound of the tent opening caused all 7 heads to look up and Bellamy met Madi's gaze as she rushed in,  
"I want to help; what do you need me to do, Murphy? Emori?" The young Nightblood's eyes, though filled with worry, where also filled with determination.

Before Emori or John could reply, Clarke's voice sounded right outside the tent and she stormed in right behind Madi,  
"Madi!" 

Anger churned in Murphy's gut, but he shoved it down for the sake of Emori and the rest of his family - his friends. Instead, he waited until Clarke turned in their direction and looked at them for the first time since they where reunited. He waited until she looked him right in the eyes and he wasnt ashamed that he felt satisfied that the self-righteous look on her face disappeared at the sight of him and Emori. And Alex. This was the first time she had seen him since he had fallen ill.

"Murphy...Please understand-"

"Don't talk to us, Clarke," Murphy whispered, not moving his steely gaze from Clarke's face,  
"You have nothing to say." Ignoring the stream of tears that continued rolling down his face and off his chin, Murphy clutched Bellamy's hand as tightly as possible and removed his other arm from around Emori's shoulders. He brought his right hand up, trembling, and laid it on his son's forehead and winced at the burning sensation of his skin,  
"Emori..."

He couldn't say anymore as Emori trembled beside him from head to toe. He closed his eyes tightly to try and remain as strong as he could for his wife, but he was finding it harder and harder to do as the minutes ticked by. Biting his lip, he opened his eyes, vision blurred by the tears, and rested his hand on Alex's chest,  
"I love you so much, son..." Raven's hand continued rubbing circles into his back as he soon felt the slow rise and fall of Alex's chest stop rising and his son stopped moving. Eyes closed. Breaths no longer escaping him.

His son was gone.

Alex was gone.

"May we meet again, little man," Bellamy whispered brokenly as he felt his own heart shatter in two,  
"May we meet again..."

"No..." Emori whimpered as she clutched her son to her chest and held on even tighter. Her entire body shook as sobs tore right through her. Murphy released the hold he had on Bellamy's hand and gathered his wife and son into his own arms, holding onto them tightly just as he felt Raven wrap her arms around both of them from behind. Bellamy's hands never left either of his friend's knees as he remained kneeling on the floor, but he turned slowly around to look at Clarke and Madi briefly.

Guilt shown on Clarke's face, but for the first time since he had been reunited with her, he didn't feel any sympathy for her at all. Shaking his head, he turned back around just as Echo, Harper and Monty came closer and all of Spacekru huddled together as one family. He felt Echo's own hand rubbing his back now and as he leaned into his girlfriend, he also moved his arms and wrapped them around John, Emori and Alex's lifeless body. The rest of Spacekru joined in instantly and out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Madi narrowed her eyes steadily at Clarke without saying a word. 

A few seconds later, he watched as Clarke turned back around and hurried out of the tent.


	2. Chapter 2

"Why, Clarke?"

Clarke whirled at the sound of Madi's voice behind her and she steeled herself as the young Nightblood stared her down outside the tent. The look in the young girl's eyes held disappointment and disgust towards her and Clarke bit her lower lip as she tried to think of what to say to excuse her actions.

"You know why, Madi-"

"No, I don't," Madi shook her head violently,  
"You let their baby die and refused to help them! Why did you do that? It wasn't for me, because the Clarke that I got to know in the last 6 years wouldn't do that."

"It was for you, Madi," Clarke whispered while shooting a quick glance over Madi's head at the tent. She was just barely able to make out her former friends inside and she flinched at the sounds of crying coming from inside,  
"I had no choice-"

"You did have a choice!" Madi finally raised her voice, her usually calm demeanor shifting in an instant,  
"You had a choice to let me help him - to help your friends and their baby! Octavia would not hurt me, I know she wouldn't have! But you where too selfish to see past that to try and help an innocent child!"

"That's enough!" Clarke snapped, but Madi ignored her.

"No, Clarke!" Madi took a step back from her,  
"He could have been saved! He could have survived, and I could have helped save him!" She steeled herself as she narrowed her dark eyes at Clarke,  
"I've never been so ashamed of you before." Before either could say any further, the sound of the tent flap opening caused Clarke to look back up, startled, and her eyes widened as Echo stepped up behind Madi.

"Madi." Echo waited until the young girl turned to look up at her, and as she laid a hand on her shoulder, she offered a tiny, watery smile in her direction,  
"I'd like to have a word with Clarke, please." As Madi nodded her head all too eagerly and disappeared inside the tent, Echo squared her shoulders and took a few steps closer to Clarke.

"You don't have anything to say to me, Echo, that Bellamy hasn't already said-" Clarke started, but stopped as Echo interrupted.

"That was before Alex DIED just now, Clarke," Echo snapped, her eyes cold as ice even while they where still filled with tears of grief,  
"You know - John and Emori's SON. He's DEAD now. And that could have been stopped."

"I know...and I'm gonna want to have a word with Murphy myself; he needs to try and understand-"

"You're not going anywhere near him or Emori, Clarke," Echo took another step closer until they where nose to nose,  
"You got that? That's what I came out here to tell you...because Bellamy asked me to. Stay away from John and Emori until further notice; they want nothing to do with you." She held her hand up when Clarke started to open her mouth,  
"You just allowed their only child to die, Clarke. How would have have felt if that was Madi who had died instead?"

"That's not fair, Echo!" Clarke tried to object, although she knew it was useless,  
"Everyone would have been put in the Gladiator Pit by Octavia if I had done something, Bellamy knows that-"

"That's what you FEARED would happen, Clarke; but you never knew that for certain!" Echo snapped heatedly,  
"And now we'll never know." She looked Clarke up and down in disgust,  
"Just stay away from them. Particularly John; he's suffered enough." Without waiting for a reply as she knew that if she stood around Clarke any longer, a fight would have broken out, Echo turned back around and walked back inside the tent to her family.

*****

Several hours had passed and the only sounds still coming from the small tent where Murphy's broken sobs. Bellamy and Monty continued to sit with their friend, all the while knowing that Emori - and Alex's body - were safe with Echo, Harper and Raven as each one of them attempted to come to grips with the fact that goodbyes where eventually going to have to be made.

But right now, they all where grieving. And grieving hard.

John had barely said anything in the last 2 hours, except for expressing how much he hated Clarke, and Bellamy and Monty both could not blame their friend for that. In fact, there was an intense anger churning in Bellamy's gut as well, an anger so intense that he didn't think he would ever be able to defend Clarke's actions again. She had changed too much in the last 6 years, and while a part of Bellamy thought that the Clarke before Praimfaya wouldn't had let an innocent child die, another part of him had to remember fact - that Clarke had shut the door on Octavia after the conclave, had let a bomb drop on her while she was in TonDC, had full intentions on putting Emori and John in the radiation chamber, just to name a few. This was all prior to the Death Wave hitting Earth, and now...now, John and Emori's only son was dead because of Clarke's constant need to have control over everyone and everything.

"I hate her..." John's broken voice broke Bellamy out of his thoughts,  
"Clarke Griffin can rot in Hell...she can rot in Hell..." 

Squeezing his best friend's shoulder while he kept an arm wrapped around him, Bellamy didn't say a word; instead, he shared a glance over at Monty, who sat on John's other side on the cot. What was there to say? Anything to be said right now would not matter; no reassurances that things would be alright, because nobody knew if they would be. Watching John's face crumbling all over again, Bellamy instead just pulled his best friend into a tight hug and just held him as more broken sobs took him over.

The three friends continued to sit on the cot for what felt like eternity and it wasn't until the sound of the tent flap opening once again and John suddenly pulling away from him without any warning, that Bellamy's eyebrows shot up and he looked over his shoulder. 

Clarke.

"Clarke, what the hell are you doing in here?" Monty was the first to say something just as John shot to his feet, albeit shakily, and judging by the look in his eyes, Bellamy feared he was going to lunge for Clarke's throat at any second.

"Get the hell out of here!" He shouted and Bellamy didn't waste another second before also shooting to his feet and, with Monty's help, they each grabbed a hold of their friend to hold him back from lunging at Clarke,  
"Get the fuck out of here, Clarke! I had said I didn't want to see you! What part of Echo's message don't you fucking understand?!"

Both Bellamy and Monty grabbed John tightly around the waist from behind, physically restraining him, even when Clarke kept a safe distance from all 3 of them. Looking over John's head at his former best friend and glaring at her, Bellamy didn't say a word as they all waited to hear Clarke's excuses.

This should be good.

"I think I deserve to at least try and explain what happened here, Murphy-"

"You deserve SHIT!" Murphy roared, even as fresh tears spilled from his eyes.

"You at least owe it to me to listen to what I have to say!" Clarke continued on as if he hadn't spoken and took a step closer, even with Murphy pulling against his friend's grasp on him and looking close to a wild animal that could tear her to pieces at any second,  
"You don't know what Madi and I have been through in the last 6 years-"

"MY SON JUST DIED, CLARKE!" Murphy's voice grew even louder as he shouted and Bellamy flinched visibly at both the volume and the words,  
"HE'S DEAD! DEAD! HE'S NEVER COMING BACK!" He lowered his voice slightly, but the intensity and fury didn't leave as he continued,  
"You still have Madi! You HAVE her! And she's not even your flesh and blood! ALEX WAS EMORI'S AND MY FLESH AND BLOOD SON, CLARKE!" Before Clarke could continue, Murphy made a lunge for her once more, but Bellamy and Monty's grip on him only tightened, preventing him from getting too close to her,  
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I KILL YOU MYSELF!" 

Clarke looked like she was going to try and object one last time, but thankfully, she instead just nodded her head in silence and after looking at the floor, turned back around and hurried out the tent against without saying another word. As soon as the 3 friends where alone once again, Bellamy and Monty both prepared themselves for John's collapse as he all but fell to the ground. The raw pain and despair poured over him, just like it had done all those years ago back when Spacekru had been on the Ring; the raw pain that was evident right here and now was almost a mirror image of that moment when John had locked himself in his parent's home and had come too close to succeeding in killing himself.

As Bellamy and Monty each held tightly to their friend as the pain washed over him like a tidel wave, the tent flap opened one last time and 4 figures re-entered - Emori, Harper, Raven and Echo. Emori's face was still streaked with tears as she entered and as she saw her husband curled into his best friend, just as broken as she was, she rushed over and fell to her knees in front of him.

And all Spacekru could do was watch, completely helpless, as the young married couple clung to one another like they where drowning.

All they could do was watch and not say anything. Because there was nothing to say anymore.


End file.
